Forgiveness
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
– Carl Jung
This week marks the half-way point in my 10-month program to become a certified well-being coach, so please forgive me for my absence here. To say that I’ve gone through several existential meltdowns since you last heard from me would be an understatement. No one said that the path toward well-being would be filled with sunshine, rainbows, and endless positivity. Quite the contrary!
Needless to say, a topic that has been a theme in recent weeks is that of forgiveness - specifically, self-forgiveness. Why is it that I find it so hard to forgive myself for things that have happened in the past, yet forgiving others seems easier? I want nothing more than to look at my life story up to this point and view every moment from a place of endless love. Right now, there are still parts of my past that I do not view from a loving place (quite the opposite, in fact).
Why is it that I find it so hard to forgive myself for things that have happened in the past, yet forgiving others seems easier?
This level of radical self-acceptance terrifies me, as I’m currently questioning many parts of my identity. Which parts of myself are truly ‘me’ and what parts are a product of a lifetime of social conditioning? If I spend too much time in this space without coming up for air, my reality turns into a funhouse where it’s nearly impossible to distinguish up from down, left from right, etc.
Ok, enough of that. All of this work is a lifelong practice and requires me accepting myself where I am now, today, in the present moment in order for any meaningful change to occur. Self-forgiveness and self-acceptance are key ingredients, and I am going to incorporate daily practices oriented around each of these areas. Here is what I DO know: I need to teach what I most need to learn to satisfy my soul, and unlearning a lifetime of conditioning (especially in the areas of sexuality, relationships, boundaries, and education) is necessary in order to guide others through this journey of well-being and self-discovery.
I need to teach what I most need to learn to satisfy my soul
Ending this post on a note of gratitude - here’s a brief list of the creature comforts that have lifted my spirits as of lately (especially when I struggle with self-forgiveness):
Kirtan - Hanuman Maui has weekly virtual kirtan on Tuesdays, in case you’re kirtan-curious
CloZee - her sound is so unique & universal - check out on Spotify
Hibiscus tea
Stargazing off the deck
What practices help you with self-acceptance and self-forgiveness (asking for a friend 😀)?
Aloha Always,
Corey
