Language

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”

– John O’Donohue

These words from an unfinished poem by John O’Donohue sparked something deep within me, and I still struggle to put a name to it. As I’ve been focusing on expanding and learning new vocabulary so I can better express my inner states with those I love, I came across the Sanskrit term ‘kama muta’, which does not have a direct English translation. It’s fascinating that language can literally limit how an individual views their external world, and in turn their internal world. Case in point - after years of questioning whether I was broken, deficient, or dysfunctional - I realized late last year that I am none of these things, I’m just asexual (meaning that unlike most people, I do not experience sexual attraction). Of course, there is so much more to unpack here, but that’s not the focus of this post (gotta save the juicy stuff so you come back...). In all seriousness, Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) has some wonderful resources for those of you who are now ace-curious.

 It’s fascinating that language can literally limit how an individual views their external world, and in turn their internal world.

Back to language, and why words matter, especially when translating the human experience. Kama muta, the Sanskrit word I mentioned earlier, most loosely translates into “moved by love”. Think of your eyes welling up with tears when you see someone performing a heroic act. This is a universal positive emotion that has the power to invoke deep feelings of peace and interconnectedness. Why are we not leveraging these deep, powerful emotions for the greater good?! And why is there not a more direct translation of this powerful emotion into English? It fascinates me, and makes me wonder what other emotions I’ve experienced in my body but I’ve been unable to name my entire life. Either because the word doesn’t exist in a language that I speak, there isn’t a widely shared schema or blueprint that resonates with how I interact with the world, or possibly something else related to my cognitive functioning. As an aside, it’s quite likely that one of the reasons I’m currently enrolled in a well-being coaching program with such a strong emphasis on developing plasticity is because of my fear of cognitive decline.

All of these mental gymnastics forced me to return to the basics: my breath and my physical body.

I felt compelled to share the meanderings of my mind this week because all of these mental gymnastics forced me to return to the basics: my breath and my physical body. By returning to using my breath as a tool to release physical blockages in my muscles, ligaments, and tissues I sense that emotional blockages will slowly start to uproot, move through, and digest. I will practice deep compassion and patience with myself as I dive deeper into the interplay between creativity, identity, and how these areas can be blocked by trauma that is stored in the body. So yes, the unfinished poem by John O’Donohue brings the spirit of kama muta to the surface. Imagining myself living my life as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding...that is deeply moving and embodies the whimsical playfulness I hope to be remembered for in this lifetime. 

Have you ever come across a body sensation or feeling that was difficult to put into words? How did that make you feel? What helped you move through this space?

Aloha Always,

Corey